Struggling.

I read a great article in the New York Times in the style section where a man with the alias “Struggling” wrote to Cheryl Strayed and Steve Almond asking their advice about his weight. He said that he walks 7+ miles a day, works out three times a week and controls his eating. Despite his efforts, he cannot lose weight and for his whole life his mom has told him to weigh less to attract women. He has been at the end of jokes and has often heard derogatory things. He wrote, “Though I understand that women bear the brunt of society’s fat shaming, I’ve been a victim of it too.”

Strayed began by saying the weight is not the problem, but the culture that shames him for it. This is a direct relation to fat frames and how personal health and responsibility frame how certain body types should look, and anything outside the norm is seemingly less than. She said, “Given the stigma associated with having a larger body, it’s no surprise you feel the shame, despair and self-loathing that you do.”

Almond began by apologizing to his twin brother who was overweight and had been mocked by him [Almond] in their childhood. He said, “I felt terrible about my own body, as most boys do, and I projected that contempt onto him,” and “Our advertising culture is predicated on making people feel lousy about their bodies,” both of which I think relate closely to what we have discussed in class. With advertising and representation in the media, we have collectively decided what is normal and good and what is not. Roles have been established for characters with certain body types, and almost none of them have to do with compassion, love or kindness. They are often at the end of jokes, or framed as the overweight friend with no sexual appeal. The problem is rooted in society, not the person. What advice would you give Struggling?